Hello there! Another motivation for myself

Tidak ada alasan untuk kita bersedih Karena Allah bersama kita Dia dekat dengan kita, Bahkan lebih dekat dari urat nadi. . 

“ ….Dan apabila hamba-hambaKu bertanya kepadamu tentang Aku, maka sesungguhnya Aku adalah dekat.” (Al-Baqarah: 186) . 

Jadi, jangan bersedih ya atas segala masalah yang sedang menimpamu. Jangan katakan bahwa kau mempunyai masalah besar, namun katakanlah pada masalahmu, bahwa kau punya Allah yang maha besar. . Selalu ingatlah, 

"Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya…” (Al Baqarah: 286) . Dan jangan pernah berhenti untuk berfikir positif, sekalipun itu pada masalahmu. Terkadang, masalah adalah sahabat terbaik yang bisa mendekatkan kita pada Sang Pencipta. 🍃🍃🍃 .

 📝@anggun.3c #duniajilbab

“I am broken. I’ve been abandoned and ignored too many times to still be whole. I don’t trust people anymore, not with something as important as my heart.

You were different. You slipped right through the cracks. I told you things I never meant to tell anyone, things I’d hidden so deep that I had to crawl through the darkness to find them. You brought out a version of me I didn’t know existed anymore. 

But, you didn’t fix me. I am still broken and now you’re cheating and that’s okay. I’ve been broken before, one more crack won’t kill me. Just please stop asking me if I’m okay. Please stop caring so much. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

—ifthenightcouldtalk,

“Are you okay?”

Sunday, October 15

Everytime we fight—which is always be a massive fight—it drains my emotion, my energy, my positive thoughts.

I was always be, "I'm not going to mess this one, I'm going to make it right, I can do it." But the results are far from what I've predicted before.

I always asked myself at the time, "What's wrong with me? Can I do this for once and never fail?"

You said that I need to stop thinking, feeling, or whatever but just doing it. And I did it but I was such a disappointment. I can be carefree for whatever it will turn to be later but the fact is, I can't.

Everytime we fight—which is always be a massive fight—I cannot stop to think that there's always a possibility that you will hurt yourself and the cause behind that is me. You are not only hurting physically but also emotionally and it makes me mad. I cannot accept the fact that you should bear the pain but I should be the one who takes it for you instead.

This is why when you asked me until when I am being like this, not doing any better but keep repeat the fight over and over again, desperately begged for another chance... Even when you shouted I should have gone from your sight and go home, I shouted back that I can't! I can't leave you with the rage and still boiling up with anger.

It is not because I want to be a good kid and try to take my responsibility and calm you down. It is beyond that. Because, really, I am not that brave, if you want to know. I am often afraid with your fury, traumatic even. Mentally I wouldn't throw myself to the kind of situation that I cannot handle very well, moreover, have control on.

It is because I am tired... I am tired to make you mad and I am the cause of it.

I want to hit my face hard and remind myself that all I want, is to see you smile. To make you happy. To be a real good kid and never irritate you. And that's the reason why I want to change.

I don't want to be remembered in your mind as someone who loves to have fight with you, can't even repair the damage, never change to be better, and be the cause of your sufferings, bruishes and scars even.

It is delusional but I want to be remembered by you as someone who is the source of your happiness, make you get the happy times, causes you to laugh and smile, enjoy the joyful moments. And it is not because I want to get your heart, it is none of that sort of business, it is a sincere expression from me, as someone who loves you dearly to never see you in anything but happiness only.

—C. h.